Anger and the Courts

You have anger. You've been hurt. Your ex-spouse did or is doing bad things. I understand all of that.

However, the courts aren't there to justify or validate your feelings. They aren't there to tell you how terrible it is that you've been browbeaten for the last 15 years. That's what your friends and family are for.

The court's job is to determine:

• division of property
• custody of children

That's it.

If you try to involve the court (the judge) with accusations, concerns, and worries that don't have any bearing on those two specific issues, the court will be less inclined to help you with those two issues.

Courts hear the "he-said-she-said's" all the time. They are overwhelmed and backlogged. The court can't make your ex-spouse into a better person. All they can do is make them a divorced person.

It is very easy to get caught up in the war, but the court is only there to sign the treaty at the end. The less you involve the court in your battles, the better off you will be.