Co-Parenting - It's About the Children

Yes, you were treated badly in your marriage. Your ex is impossible to deal with and always tries to twist things and take advantage. Every time you talk, things degrade into an argument.

What does this do to your children?

You each need to come to terms with the fact that while you are no longer married, you will always both be your children's parents. You will always have a parenting relationship with your ex-spouse - as uncomfortable as that though may be.

At some point, one of you (probably the one reading this article...) will need to put aside your anger and try to have a serious conversation with your ex about the new nature of your parenting relationship. It should no longer be about either of you nor your feelings about the divorce. If there's a new partner involved on either or both sides, they shouldn't enter into this equation, either. The goal is to try to create a new cordial, or at least businesslike relationship so that your children feel secure with both parents.

Except in extreme cases, for better or for worse, your children still love both of you, and want both parents in their lives. It doesn't do your kids any favors by trying to poison their relationship with their father/mother because he's/she's a bad person who "left the family for another woman/man." It's time to let go of the anger and try to find a way to work with your ex as parents.

Does this mean that you'll always agree? Of course not. But you should come to an agreement that these conflicts won't reach the children, at a minimum.

This seems like a big leap, I know. But just like anything difficult, it all starts with one small step. Talk with your ex about the need to have a cordial, respectful parenting relationship, and you just might be surprised with the results.