How to Turn Divorce into a Positive Life Change

There are no winners in a divorce. Both spouses suffer, and if there are children in the marriage, they suffer even more. However, if you've been in a bad marriage for years, even with the difficulties divorce can bring, it can also can lead to a better life. The key is to keep from getting caught up in the inevitable depression and to work at making positive changes in your life.

First, begin eating right and exercising. You're already making some huge changes to your lifestyle. Why not make the other changes that matter most, as well? Eating healthy foods will make you generally feel better. It's often much cheaper to eat good, healthy food at home than it is to eat out several times a week, or even cheaper than keeping lots of junk food in the house. Exercise will not only help you get into better shape, which in turn helps your self esteem, but it can also help you combat depression. When combined with a healthy diet, regular exercise can bring about dramatic changes to your body and your general outlook in a relatively short time.

Next, begin saving money. In almost every case, a newly divorced individual has to deal with financial issues of lesser or greater severity. You're likely living on less income and with a tighter budget than you're used to. When you're surviving on a single income, any unexpected expense can be devastating. You should work on building up your savings to the point that you can handle a suprise large expense. I suggest several months' salary at a minimum. This should be kept someplace like a savings account so that it can be relatively easily accessed. Once your savings have built up to this point, you can start directing your savings to a longer-term investment, but you need to first ensure that you can handle unexpected emergencies with your handy reserve.

Update your wardrobe. After you start looking better from eating right and exercising, you'll want new clothes to match your new body and new attitude. That might sound counter to the previous advice, but new clothes don't have to cost a fortune. Swallow your pride and start looking in consignment stores and thrift stores. While you might have to weed through a bunch of clothes to find the best items, it's easy to find new or almost new items at incredibly deep discounts. These often aren't outdated fashions, either. Take a look – you might be surprised with what you're able to find, and you'll be the only one who will know where they came from.

Take a hard look at improving your education. It might mean some sacrifices, but even taking one or two classes at a time will help. Not only will advancing your education potentially lead to a better job or more pay, it will help your self esteem as well. Also you will have the chance to meet new people.

Finally, re-enter the dating world. It can be a very scary thought, but nothing will help your self-worth as much as finding someone who is interested in you just for being you. Set your bar high – while there's nothing wrong with dating “Mr. Right Now,” make sure both you and he know that casual is OK. Don't settle for "adequate" for a long term relationship. When you find the right person, you'll know. If you don't, that's OK, too.

After a divorce, it's easy to remember to take care of your children. That's also true with taking care of your bills. But it's equally as important to take the time and make the effort to take care of yourself.